the scary moment

(photo via wit + delight)

I just had a scary moment.

Tonight's fondue date at the Melting Pot with my two oldest girlfriends (pals for 13 years!) made me a little anxious about the future, a bit too anxious. Reminiscing about the past got me sweaty palmed thinking about what's to come, of all that's unknown and uncertain. And the entire night, I sipped on a mixed drink called Absolut Stress! Too ironic.

It's true for everyone -- when your friends smoothly settle into their lives, into solid careers and robust relationships, it's scary to compare when you're still just getting there. Still paddling between the lanes of intrepid exploration and plain trying-to-figure-shit-out. Suddenly, you start thinking like your parents and asking yourself all these questions; for me, variations of the career/relationship/post-grad kind. It's enough to make a girl want to run to the nearest dive bar and order a tonic closest to Absolut De-Stress!

Yea, I freaked. I began to wonder if I got the short end of the stick, having so many opportunities in life, in NYC, that I don't even know how to settle. Doubting my ability to combine all of my passions into an entrepreneurial career; doubting the possibility of finding the right guy with the perfect combination of imperfections; doubting everything the future could hold. All of this, and the alarming realization that I'd graduate in exactly a year!!!

The freak-out continued, but my friends thankfully brought me back to earth. It's still daunting to think about really "growing up" after college, but right now is truly just the beginning of the beginning. Who was I to be so cynical at the ripe ol' age of twenty-one? So I heeded their advice, ate some more fondue and brownies, and drank some water. But I put down the Absolut Stress for good.

wonderful women

I've had these photos of two sweetly fabulous ladies from the '60s (I believe) saved in my computer for months. I have no idea who they are, but I just love them so much... perhaps because they look like such family women, like they were just the most wonderful wives and doting mamas. (And clearly hair connoisseurs as well!)

I couldn't get them out of my mind all week. Actually, they've served as my daily reminders to take it easy and enjoy the life I have, since I've been feeling so stressed by the constant balancing act. So today, inspired by their serenity, I put down my blackberry and planner, grabbed a scrumptious-looking salad with lots of avocado, and thoroughly enjoyed a few moments of sunshine outside, just me and my thoughts. It was heavenly. Then, I called my mom for some TLC, because we all know that mothers -- awesome hairdo or not -- are always sweet and especially fabulous.

(photos via 1001 rules for my unborn son)

inspiration: social media

You know what I'm really interested in learning more about? The innovative ways companies and brands are using social media to reach little old us. It's exciting to see huge, traditional corporations and organizations try their hands at new technology in order to make more connections with people. (Take the White House's Flickr account -- love this picture!) Social media has proven to be quite revolutionary, as you can see in this amazing, powerful video:

And the more I think about it, the more inspired (and impressed) I am. It's a vehicle for change and creative thinking, and more significantly, a vessel for any individual to be heard if they want to be. A container of millions of different perspectives, kinda like Wordle, a technology that helps put a creative spin on any normal document.

Wordle generates "word clouds" that give prominence to words that are used the most, while ignoring simple articles. So basically, wordles showcase expressions in a whole new and customizable visual context. (I'm a total word-dork, so I had to make a few myself! Above is a wordle of Obama's "Yes We Can" speech, and below is a wordle of my resume or essentially, me!) Wordle creates so many cool new, unique outlooks -- what a great metaphor for social media, no?

we, the women

The career women in their feminine, tailored suits, the not-at-all struggling artists, the best-friends-for-10-years-that-they're-practically-sisters, the fashionable mothers strolling their impeccably dressed babies, the bright-eyed college students... aren't all women just so inspiring? I'm thankful to live in a city with such unique, strong, complex individuals. Women of all shapes and minds.

Every day, in Greenwich Village or Union Square, I see women who just have that undeniably special flair for life that I admire. It's infectious. Like their smiles and walks and very existence somehow magically motivate me to seize every day and make it mine. And they don't even know that they're imparting spirit and wisdom just by living their lives and being themselves! Just by being real women, "flaws" and all. That's the best part, 'cause I'm a woman too!

(photo by the Sartorialist)

on reunions and friendship

New York City, it’s been too long. So long, that for a minute, I almost felt like we were strangers. How could that be? Yesterday, I settled into my apartment in Union Square, put my things in their correct places, made myself a cup of tea, and caught up with my dear friend Danny over Thai dinner at Spice. And then I had a revelation.

Spice

Seeing Danny was so exhilarating – we dished on everything that happened during our time apart (and my time abroad), laughed, shared appetizers and entrees, and laughed some more. It’s amazing to think that we are just as close as we were three years ago, when we became fast friends on the very first day of freshman year. We may not have seen each other in over eight months, but things just never seem to change between us. As always, I insisted that he lost weight and his shirt was too big, and likewise, Danny took my sassy remarks in stride. “No, Helen, I’ve always been like this,” he said.

Danny and I on my birthday

After dinner, I walked back up Broadway to my empty apartment, feeling too full and a little stunned at exactly how much I had missed my friend. My roommate Anuja hadn’t moved back yet, and I was exhausted, so I decided to stay in and drink some more tea (decaf this time) before bed. In my PJ’s, I peered out the window at 14^th Street below, but it was dark and chaotic down there, so I stopped looking.

I don’t know why, but a terrible moment of panic seized me, and for some time, I felt truly alone -- like the tiniest little dot on the globe, all by myself in sprawling, busy Manhattan. Like I didn’t even have a place in this amazing city anymore, save for the few friends I loved here and wished were currently with me, wrapped around like a worn security blanket. I feared that my old memories of New York were irrelevant, and I’d have to relearn everything, establish new grounds. I was wiser and more worldly; I had thousands of new experiences – the highest of highs and lowest lows; I had changed. Didn’t that make a difference?

Then, a voice in my head told me “NO!” … and that I was a fool.

If Danny and I could continue to grow individually for three years and still be the dearest of friends, all the while moving in and out of different apartments all over downtown Manhattan and never taking a single class together – who’s to say that friendships don’t last? People are always changing, always living the lives we were meant to live, always being challenged. Friendships are challenged.

I’ve heard it said that real friends grow together, but this voice in my head is telling me that that true friends embrace each other even if they don’t. The I-will-really-always-love-you type friends. I got that reassurance from Danny last night, and I think that in time, New York will let me in on the hint too.

the thrifting game

Some people gamble, others skydive or bungee jump, but I get my thrills from thrift shopping. Passionately and often. Because thrifting is undeniably thrilling.

It's a sport, a hunt, in which you must find the best bargain before your equally stylish, sharp-eyed competitor. And it's a game that requires superb judgment, immense physical stamina, and true understanding of oneself. Like any skill, constant practice makes perfect. Soon enough, you may just find yourself in the big leagues, fighting over 1 euro scarves and tunics in the Paris vintage markets like the thrift princess you are. (PS: All the cool girls, AKA moi, go here.)

Like in every other game, thrifting has its rules: buy it if you love it and drop it if it stinks. Which means, keep what you absolutely cannot live without, and move away from the ratty, pit-stained, moth-ridden rag! (Even if it's Gucci! Just don't do it!)

As your skills accumulate (o.2 seconds to discern crap from pure gold) and prizes amass (YSL wool skirt? Betsy Johnson silk vest? Check. Check.), sit back and bask in the glow of your very eccentric closet. And then go ahead and blog about it. (I would love to hear!) Tell all your friends. Because the best part about the thrifting game is showing off your loot!

*Some new thrifted goodies in my closet, from me to you. That's my third pair of cowboy boots -- I'm addicted!

POV: two of my favorite CEOs/entrepreneurs

I love having the privilege of reading about the amazing people behind my favorite companies and products. I'm a huge fan of vintage e-store ModCloth and can't get enough of Tarte beauty products (remember this?), so I was thrilled to find their respective CEOs + their New Years resolutions featured in this Inc Magazine article. Check 'em out:

Susan Gregg Koger, who founded ModCloth the summer before her freshman year at Carnegie Mellon, aims to find a mentor (Me too, Susan!). She also strives to make time for daily journal entries, travel to Asia, and improve her photography skills.

Maureen Kelly, who started Tarte in a teeny, one-bedroom apartment in New York in 1999 (Happy 10 year anniversary!), will launch a limited edition line of products developed in conjunction with celebrity makeup artist Tina Turnbow. Her other resolutions include making time for her two boys and hitting the gym "even if it’s getting up an hour earlier".

Bravo to young entrepreneurs! May we continue to be inspired by them, professionally and personally.

(Photos via Inc Magazine)

HELP! which girl would you hire?

The situation: Choosing one passport-style photo to send to potential employers in the beauty industry at the corporate level. Would you prefer the more subdued, professional candidate? Or the much more friendly-looking one (though with squinty eyes)? We all know that first impressions matter! Keep in mind the final photo will be 400 x 300 pixels.

Photo #1:

Photo #2


I would really appreciate your help!
Voice your opinion in the comments below
or vote in the poll.
Thank you! xo

(photo credit: My little sister, Jessica)

Poll: Which photo should I send to future employers?

POV: I'm not happy with Urban Outfitters

some Urban Outfitters UK boots

I just finished browsing Urban Outfitters UK and found a bunch of amazing shoes not listed on the US stores and site. Actually, almost all the UK apparel is new to my American eyes and dare I say it, freaking expensive. Why is this?!

Unique markets is one answer. I understand every company should be cognizant of varying international consumer demands and tweak product lines accordingly (for example, McDonald's menus are different in China compared to US counterparts). But why the need to completely differentiate product selections when US and UK style demands are so similar? Who doesn't want quality, variety, and fantastic price? Not Brits and Yankees!

We all know things cost more in Europe. But I don't understand why the exact same wedge boots I bought from UO US cost $48 (its current price now), but are £120, or almost $200, on the UK website! Sorry Urban Outfitters, your on sale We Who See boots are the same product as your Faryl Robins, name change or no. As a Brit might say, "I'm not that daft."

So you slipped up, Urban Outfitters. There are some products in common between the two websites after all! But why are these knit booties £75.00 in the UK and (under pseudonym) $58 in the US? And these oxford wedges a whopping £170.00 in the UK when they're on sale for $99 in America? Why isn't product pricing standard all around?

I just don't get it, Urban Outfitters. Do you double European prices because customers are intimidated by international shipping fees and don't do their research anyway? Do you offer an expensive UK product line in order to conceal a thriftier American alternative? Do you change the names (and prices) of exact same products because we don't pay attention?

Tell me there's another reason. Every relationship -- boyfriend-girlfriend, consumer-corporation -- is built upon a foundation of trust. If I can't trust that you won't cheat me of my hardearned cash (because this name changing thing is bullshit), how can we continue this relationship? I think my British girlfriends would agree: we'd rather buy our shoes elsewhere.

POV on home decor

My father just bought a very professional-looking L-shaped desk, which got me thinking about how furniture can be such an accurate reflection of our very unique personalities. Styling a home is like deciding on one dress to wear everyday for a year!

I like comfy and vintage-y furnishings, mixing antiques and modern pieces, and the color white. Proof? My night stand, which I love. What's your home decor style?

It probably has nothing to do with hanging shoes on the wall, but this picture makes an abstract art-loving girl smile! :)

photos via etc

POV: DKNY

via Models.com

Okay. DKNY's Fall '09/Winter '10 ad campaign just blew my mind. I have to admit I wasn't a fan of the last few seasons (too off-base from the essence of the brand in my opinion), but these ads are so much more classic, iconic DKNY. (You know what I mean? NYC backdrop, stylish girl stepping out of yellow taxi, bright lights?) Anyway...

DKNY, welcome to the ranks of Guess, Calvin Klein, Burberry, and Marc Jacobs (AKA, my picks for campaigns that are always spot on)! Thanks for going back to your roots and understanding that strength comes in numbers (of models in amazing outfits, I mean). I dig all the designs. I'd wear every single one.

POV: dress recycling

Me (in the white blazer) and my friends at a recent semiformal

As a little girl, I loved playing dress-up. Years later, that's still the status quo. But after the high school proms and college formals, I've noticed one alarming theme: I never wear the same dress twice to a big event. (God, I'm a snob!) Do you recycle your dresses? Or do you associate one dress with a particular event like I do, and call it a day? (And the little black dress does not count!)

POV: GIRLshorts

(photo via journelle)

Okay, girls. I think it's about time we seriously talk about undies. Let me just put it out there: I am not a fan of thongs. (Imagine accidentally showing off your butt floss! Gross.) I've given them plenty of chances, but I still think they're super uncomfortable. (TMI? Oh well.) Am I the only one who doesn't like them?

Thankfully, we ladies have a comfier alternative to banishing those underwear-lines (I hate the word "panty"): Boyshorts. Except why the heck are they called boyshorts? Guys have nothing to do with them, besides admiring our cute butts. (Am I right or am I right?) I feel uber-feminine in these formfitting, lifesaving, mini-shorts. Do you? Let's check out some pretty "girlshorts," shall we?

POV: let's talk skirts

(photos via acrimony)

Fact: Pencil skirts rock. They are so chic and fun to wear to work. (I love my colorful linen ones -- so summery!) But there are some super form-fitting skirts I know I could never wear in the office. They're pretty, but not at all pencil-like! Yikes!

Honestly, guys have it so easy sometimes. We ladies have to worry about things like panty lines, stretchy fabrics, and strangely placed slits. (See above: what the heck?) While women have been crushing that corporate glass ceiling for decades now, we still have to keep our femininity in check at work. But we've come a long way since the days our moms donned boxy blazers and baggy pants to blend in a male-dominated office! Nowadays, thank goodness, we have options!

So it's okay to look cute and smart, to show some leg and individuality... Just, maybe leave those sexy skirts for nights out with friends. Do you agree?

POV: bittersweet without the bitter

(photo via joanna, by elisabeth dunker)

I used to be so change-averse, but along with some other things, I've been learning to embrace change with very little mourning. In two weeks, my time in NYC will be up and I'll move out of my beautiful Gramercy apartment to work back home in Philly. I'm sad to leave this huge part of my life, my New York friends, and my favorite City hangouts... but I'm making myself think positively!

Yes, it'll be seven months until I'm back permanently (due to summer + a semester abroad in Prague), but there are also so many wonderful things to look forward to in the near future. I'm excited for summer's simple pleasures: art or sewing or spinning classes (or all three), running in Valley Forge, beach frolicking, quality hangouts with friends, and lots and lots of time for picture-taking and writing. I'm excited for my awesome classes in Prague on art, architecture, and Czech language. I'm excited to work in creative design, product development, and brand management at my internship. I really feel so lucky and blessed.

Leaving for summer break is always bittersweet, especially if your graduation clock (or other scary date) is ticking louder than ever... but I think any kind of change can be all sweet without the bitter if we continue to remind ourselves that our life's adventures aren't truly reliant on where we live or how old or young we are -- but rather on our willingness to put 100% into living our best, with no regrets. On making time for our priorities, especially ourselves. My friend Anuja put me at peace tonight by reminding me, "We shouldn't have regrets. We for the most part, are quite bold." Do you think like that too?

POV: Business (NOT) as usual

This sleep mask was a gift... but I look silly when I wear it!

Not so fun fact: sleeping with an elevated leg is next to impossible. I tried for hours last night, in an effort to reduce the swelling on my ankle, and then just gave up to finally catch up on those precious Z's. It was a necessary sacrifice. Also, my cast is ridiculously ugly and useless, so I wore sturdy boots today and still felt totally secure in my step. I think I'm almost all recovered! But onto more interesting news (because my ankle is probably boring you to tears already)...

Today I met this amazing entrepreneur, Peter Bregman, who really inspired me (as have many) to further develop my passions. He does everything: CEO and founder of a consulting firm for Fortune 500 companies, Outward Bounds leader, CNN journalist, and public speaker. I told him all about my plans to publish a book of poems (I already have a title! Will update later.) and pursue other projects in marketing and producing... and he said that juggling my passions was the smartest plan. Here's his astoundingly logical advice:

Basically, being an entrepreneur or freelancer is actually the least risky occupation in times like these. Think about it. When you have one job, you have one client to answer to. And if that client fires you, you're screwed. But as an entrepreneur with many clients (aka, not putting all your eggs in one basket), if one client fires you, you're still fine. It's just a percentage of your overall revenue, and you can always easily find new clients with that go-getter spirit of yours! So basically entrepreneurship is all about creating a different game to guarantee that you can win -- which is why it's reliable as well as fun and exciting. Awesome advice!

POV: the "go-to outfit" turned uniform

(oxford shirt via gap)

As I've grown older, I've developed a kind of "uniform" that I always go to for those get-ready-in-five-minutes days, aka, almost every day: black or dark blue skinny pants/jeans, a black tank top (I own dozens), a bright cardigan or white/blue collared cotton or oxford shirt (with sleeves rolled up), and maryjane heels. Give or take a watch or chunky cuff, or a necklace if I'm lucky.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with these same-looking outfits... but my uniform makes me feel confident, neat, and in control. I totally understand why Carolina Herrera has cultivated her look -- crisp white shirt, skirt, scarf (usually silk), and heels -- and stuck with it for years, decades even. Sometimes, our go-to outfit becomes our uniform and in turn becomes our best outfit. Our signature look, and our personal brand.

So, my dears, do you have a go-to outfit or uniform? Or are you too much of a creative butterfly to stick to one look?

POV: wo(man)hood

(photo via W magazine)

Ernest Hemingway on how to be a man: "plant a tree, fight a bull, write a book, and have a son." This fun bit of trivia got me thinking about the reverse, or how to be a woman. Don't you ever wonder what defines womanhood, or what situations (other than the physical) mark the transition from girl to woman? Maybe some pinnacles are... becoming an older sister or best friend, wearing high heels (like these cute canvas pumps), cooking a meal all by yourself, and giving birth (with no gender preference, thank you very much). Can you think of more?

Also, my dears, a question: what makes you feel womanly? Taking relaxing candle-lit bubble baths? Being financially independent? Wearing pretty underthings? (Strangely, for me, it's wearing over-sized men's shirts -- super comfy!) I'm so curious about your POV.

POV: embracing our "problems"

(photo via ruby press)

Today, while waiting with Anuja at Dashing Diva for my manicure to dry (red by the way, to match my new lipstick), we continued our usual meandering talk on our experiences and aspirations. We love to joke and make fun analogies, but on more serious days, we oftentimes end up analyzing life's many truths. It's a sobering, but empowering thing to do.

Like for the past month, Anuja has been convinced that every solution to a problem is just another problem. This may sound rather cynical and negative, but I've been called an annoyingly optimistic person, and I think this theory has some validity. Because while some problems certainly seem very bad -- Mr. Big turns out to be Mr. Big Mistake, waking up late for an exam -- they also enrich our lives and challenge us to make them better.

Our problems can actually transform into life-long solutions. Real problems are the kind that shape our character, test our strengths, and keep us humble. They teach us lessons that TV and our friends' stories can never fully explain. They influence us more than any easy answer. They kick us in the butt when we need to grow up. They instill in us the wisdom of trees, the confidence in real maturity.

That's why I'm all about confronting and even embracing my problems, because they always become my greatest solutions. I have learned many times, to never, ever make the same mistakes again. In a way, I've become fearless. Isn't that a reassuring thought? At least Anuja and I believed so, as we waited out the lengthy hour-long process of drying our nails. Because of the many coats of polish, they took awhile to harden and strengthen -- but now they look absolutely stunning.

a guy's POV: she's so suit-sexy!

(photo via garance dore)

Because I go to business school, I own a couple suits -- a few blazers, pencil skirts, and slacks in sets of navy, cream, and lots of black. The thing is, I hate dressing so conservatively and try to avoid wearing suits as much as possible. But what I've recently realized is that men love the look of a woman in a business suit. They think it's powerful and sexy -- frankly, they go nuts!

Well! What an interesting concept, right?! You dress in your cutest, girliest outfits, but it's the boring black suit that they go crazy for. Go figure. But now that I know this, I find myself standing straighter and feeling more confident and comfortable in a suit. I'm definitely learning how to work it, how to own the look. It's a win-win!

My dolls, do you feel sexy in a business suit? (A pair of high heels definitely helps.) And guys, do you agree with my friends and love a woman in a suit?