Thursday, May 13, 2010

the scary moment

(photo via wit + delight)

I just had a scary moment.

Tonight's fondue date at the Melting Pot with my two oldest girlfriends (pals for 13 years!) made me a little anxious about the future, a bit too anxious. Reminiscing about the past got me sweaty palmed thinking about what's to come, of all that's unknown and uncertain. And the entire night, I sipped on a mixed drink called Absolut Stress! Too ironic.

It's true for everyone -- when your friends smoothly settle into their lives, into solid careers and robust relationships, it's scary to compare when you're still just getting there. Still paddling between the lanes of intrepid exploration and plain trying-to-figure-shit-out. Suddenly, you start thinking like your parents and asking yourself all these questions; for me, variations of the career/relationship/post-grad kind. It's enough to make a girl want to run to the nearest dive bar and order a tonic closest to Absolut De-Stress!

Yea, I freaked. I began to wonder if I got the short end of the stick, having so many opportunities in life, in NYC, that I don't even know how to settle. Doubting my ability to combine all of my passions into an entrepreneurial career; doubting the possibility of finding the right guy with the perfect combination of imperfections; doubting everything the future could hold. All of this, and the alarming realization that I'd graduate in exactly a year!!!

The freak-out continued, but my friends thankfully brought me back to earth. It's still daunting to think about really "growing up" after college, but right now is truly just the beginning of the beginning. Who was I to be so cynical at the ripe ol' age of twenty-one? So I heeded their advice, ate some more fondue and brownies, and drank some water. But I put down the Absolut Stress for good.


  1. so well-written =) I miss our girl talk. You're one of the most honest people I know...

    <3 bbm me. We must take advantage of this time and see more of each other!

  2. Your comment to me earlier about how I don't post enough "real" me inspired me to be more honest! I'll definitely have some more posts about my feelings and such. Thanks for the kick in the butt ;)

  3. Hey Helen :)

    ONe thing I love about your post (as a whole) they cause me to think, and realize that which I want to forget AND need to remember. This post made me think of growing paigns. ....thanks for sharing.... :)

    Have a fab day :)

  4. Oh! I have so had those dinner dates! I'm glad you felt better by the end of the night! Taking the road less traveled does have its moments of doubt but I am certain you'll be glad you did!

  5. Don't freak out, Helen! it's normal to feel unsure about what you want in can't plan everything!

  6. You girls are all right, I feel loads better, thank you! :)


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